What's Missing
by Kasaki Kihoya
Summary: Edward returns to Amestris after being killed on Earth in a car accident. He has everything he wanted, all the things that he was missing in Germany. So why is Edward still unhappy with his life? Roy/Ed
1. Chapter 1

_Hello, this is Kasaki Kihoya. I'm new to Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction, so please go easy on me :)_

_This is my first fic for FMA, and I haven't watched the whole anime series, nor have I watched the movie; Conqueror of Shamballa, so yeah…_

_Disclaimer: I will only say this once per story, I don't own FMA, although if I was the genius behind it, I certainly wouldn't be here writing this…_

_I'll try to update at least once a week. No promises, I am a master procrastinator.  
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_Now, please enjoy!_

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

Golden eyes glanced at the overcast sky above. A sigh escaped his lips, and he lifted his cup taking a long sip of the bitter coffee inside. He winced ever so slightly at the taste. Only the most trained eye would have picked up the twitch of his. This amber eyed man then swept some blonde hair out of his face. His hair's natural glow was dimmed by the light of this place. Compared to where he was from, this place looked lifeless. This fact annoyed him, but then again so did Berlin.

Although it rained frequently enough, the people of Germany didn't seem to like rain all that much. This thought made the blonde chuckle, and he then shifted his gaze across all the other tables of the outdoor café. Every other seat was empty. He wasn't lonely though, he preferred it this way. Maybe he was anti-social, but he felt that he could only enjoy the company of certain people.

Then another man slipped into the seat in front of him. This man had shimmering blue eyes and pale blonde hair. The man's face was not all that different from his own. His heart couldn't help but ache at the sight of this man. He looked just like his brother, but this man was by no means Alphonse Elric.

"Edward. Still frequenting this café I see." Edward looked deeply into this man's eyes before giving him a small smile in greeting. It wasn't often that people saw him smile. At least this was the case if they weren't close to him in some way. Looking at this man made him think of his brother Alphonse, and even though there was pain associated with that he never wanted to forget about Al. Occasionally, Edward forced himself to think about Al for that very reason. What was Al doing? Was he happy, and if so did he still remember his brother? Edward knew that last question was beyond stupid, but he couldn't fight the curiosity the question brought him. But he was happy just knowing that he had gotten Al's body back just as he had promised.

"You know me all too well, Alfons. Tell me, why are you here though?" Edward inquired. Alfons laughed lightly in regards to the comment of knowing Edward too well. For having been acquainted only a short time, he certainly hoped he knew the young genius more than he should. Alfons Heiderich was a rocket scientist, and a rather impressive one for his age. He was one of the brilliant minds in the business. When he had met Edward only a year ago, the boy knew absolutely nothing about rockets, much less physics, chemistry or aerodynamics. But Edward had a passion for science. This passion allowed Edward to pick up on all of these things in only a few months of study. Edward was for more brilliant than him. It had taken Alfons years to learn what he had taught Edward in only months.

Edward had entered Alfons's life rather unexpectedly. Alfons followed court trials and such as a hobby, so he took notice when they were about to imprison a mad man for claiming he wasn't from Earth much less Germany. The look in Edward's eyes was one of panic and confusion, but certainly not the look of insanity. He knew insanity well, for most men in science were partially crazy themselves. And the German government wanted to jail him unless someone claimed him as kin.

To this day, a year later, Alfons still had no idea why he had stood in court that day and announced to the Judge that Edward was his brother. And when asked by friends he would simply say that the circumstances had been complicated. Edward had been hesitant to say thank you, but Alfons understood. Alfons never did believe Edward about being from a place called Amestris, but he knew the boy was honest about the people he told him about.

"Well," Alfons began, "I'm having trouble with the design of my latest rocket, and you're the only one I can discuss this with without having to explain everything." Edward smiled, knowing just how true this was. Edward had always been a scientific genius by anyone's or any places standards.

"Aw. Your other friends being their usual idiotic selves?" Edward teased lightly. Alfons appreciated the joke though, for he laughed.

"And as usual, you are my go to guy for my problems."

"Then quit talking and show me the work you have. You know how this works by now." At the end of this short exchange, Alfons reached into the brown suitcase he had brought along. He set a stack of papers on the table and pushed them towards Edward. The golden eyed scientist, however unofficial that title was, eagerly took the papers. His eyes shifted over the equations and designs with a speed that only this boy could accurately manage. Alfons was never by any means unimpressed by Edward's natural talents.

Continuing to watch the boy skim through the papers, Alfons couldn't help but notice how Edward had been with him a year, but had not so much as had a girl he liked. He didn't mind either way, though he was bothered by the apparent fact that he was the boys only friend.

When Edward finally looked up and set down the papers, Alfons was brought back to reality. "Here's your problem," Edward said, pointing to the main equation on the third page. "This angle you're trying to calculate shouldn't even be an angle. It needs to be a curve to balance out the design. And since you made it an angle, it threw off all your other equations." Alfons grinned like a small child at the revelation.

"I knew you were the man for the job!" Alfons exclaimed with joy.

"Is there ever anyone else?" Edward challenged light heartedly.

"Well, I supposedly pay Nick to double check my work…" Alfons noted in an accusatory tone.

"Nick is an idiot. Why don't you fire him and hire someone else?" Edward asked, honestly curious. Alfons was no idiot, so why would he hire complete dumbasses?

Alfons smiled at Edward's question. He had been trying to hire Edward for weeks now, but he always refused. "Does that mean you'll finally work for me?" The scientist asked, but he already knew the answer.

"Of course not. I don't want any attachments to this place. You know that." Edward explained for what felt like the hundredth time. Edward lived off the hope that maybe one day he would go back to Amestris. Back to Al, back to alchemy, and back to the world he loved so much. At this point, he would rather be a State Alchemist in Amestris then a Rocket Scientist in Berlin, Germany. He was grateful for what Alfons had done for him, but he just couldn't be happy here, and he didn't want to try. The former alchemist still lived by truth and still put his faith in equivalent exchange. The truth was that he wasn't happy, and he would never be until he was home. But that may never happen.

Alfons noted the look on Edward's face. He was deep in thought. He knew the boy wasn't totally happy. Edward blamed it on being homesick, but Alfons knew better. Even if Edward were to go home, it wouldn't change the fact that he had nothing to be happy about. Nothing to be happy for. "Even scientists can dream, dear Edward." Alfons announced once Edward had brought his attention back to the present.

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment before standing up. "Yeah, well maybe they shouldn't." Edward said almost cynically. Alfons knew better then to mistake this for bitterness. The boy was a true scientist, dedicated more than anyone else to the study, and only spoke of what he knew to be true. "I have to go. I'll see you later." Edward then turned and walked away.

Alfons watched Edward's back as he walked, heading into the road. Yes, the boy was a strange one, but he was certainly a gifted mind.

Then he saw it. Panic flooded his senses. A large car was speeding down the road and headed straight at Edward. "Edward!" Alfons yelled as loud as he could. Edward barely had time to look behind him at Alfons though. Amber eyes, shimmering with curiosity looked directly into his fear stricken ones. Then the car collided with him. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, Edward's body bending so unnaturally over the hood of the car. His legs bent in the wrong direction, and then there was blood everywhere. And Edward was on the ground. He was dead.

Alfons ran to Edward, and kneeled beside him and lifted the boys head, hoping to God that his suspicion was wrong. But he was only proven correct. Edward was gone. Tears streamed down his face. "Oh God… Edward! No… Not you. Anyone but you!" Alfons screamed through his tears. His friend, no, his closest friend was gone forever.

In what reality was this fair? Ha. Fair? If Edward could say anything right now he would point out that the truth about life is that it was hardly ever fair.


	2. Chapter 2

_Review replies:_

**LurvirsLuvvie: **_Poor Alfons indeed! Maybe I should make a chapter for Edward's funeral in Germany? I hope you enjoy this chapter as well._

**Joruni: **_My writing style had improved dramatically over the years that I've been writing. It amazes me how much my style has grown and evolved! Thank you for the compliment, it means so much, I've been trying to make my writing flow a lot better. :)_

**MARYLOVER: **_Thank you for thinking my fic is possibly going to be good!_

_**What-is-the-color-of-love: **__Thank you! I'll make sure to give you more! :D_

_**UP2L8:**__ Ah! Your review made my week! Convinced me to start typing the next chapter early! :3_

_Thanks to those who reviewed, and anyone who read but didn't review. Please enjoy this chapter!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

The last thing Edward remembered was looking at Alfons before something hit him in the side with extreme force. He was crossing the road. Had he been run over? He still had conscious thought though, so he was still alive, right? Of course he was, he had survived far worse than a simple car accident. And to top it off, he would have seen or heard the car, but this didn't totally rule out the possibility.

"Oh God! He's bleeding… Someone get a doctor!" A woman's voice screamed. Why a woman? Hadn't Alfons been there with him? Could she have just been passing by? But even so, why would she say Gate? People on Earth believed in God, and supposedly knew nothing of the gate. There was no chance whatsoever that anyone on Earth besides himself knew of the Gate. Maybe his head collided with the ground hard enough to give him a concussion and this whole Gate thing was his hearing playing tricks with his mind. And then Edward lost consciousness.

An ambulance arrived on the scene only minutes later. While some EMC's loaded Edward onto a gurney and then into the medical vehicle, one doctor went around asking the surrounding people if they knew his identity. "He was just lying there, in the road of all places. I don't know who he is, but looks like he was hit or attacked! Will he be okay?" The woman who was finished speaking looked genuinely concerned. The doctor assured her that the boy would be alright. He had lost some blood, but had already stopped bleeding and would probably only need to monitored overnight, if that. The cause for his state, however, would remain a mystery until he woke up.

Once Edward was loaded into the ambulance, the interviewing doctor hopped into the driver's seat of the ambulance and drove them all back to the hospital as fast as traffic would allow since he wasn't critical. Although, if he was informed that the mystery boy started bleeding again he would make sure to step on the gas and blare the sirens. This never happened, but as they approached the hospital, he made a mental note to make sure Central was called. Maybe they knew who he was. It was rare, but definitely possible. They also needed a name for his chart.

"What's the situation?" One of the nurses asked soon after they pulled up to a fairly large hospital. Central-Civilian Hospital was one of the largest in Central. It had to be as it was one of only 3 in Central that took military personnel as well as civilians.

"He's not critical; I suggest placing him in the recovery ward." The doctor who cared for Edward in the back of the ambulance said. "Have a nurse examine him, just to be safe." The nurse nodded.

"Is that all, Doctor?" She asked, ready to head off at a moment's notice.

"Call Central, maybe someone there knows who he is," The doctor said motioning to Edward. The downside to nursing, as she saw it, was having to take orders, but she turned around anyway and headed back for the nurse's station for the phone. But she had to do this if she wanted the promotion that was up for grabs right now.

The nurse picked up the phone and dialed Central. It rung twice before being picked up. "Central Command Center, how can I help you today?" The voice on the other end sounded cheerful enough, but the nurse could hear the effects of years of smoking in his tone.

"Oh, yes, well we have a no name down here. Can someone come and ID him?"

"We'll send someone down right away. If he is a citizen of Amestris we'll find out who he is."

"Thank you."

"No problem, have a nice day ma'am."

At Central, Jean Havoc hung up the phone. One of his colleagues, Riza Hawkeye, looked at him curiously with her chestnut brown eyes. Her blond hair tied back with her bangs hanging out in such a fashion that gave her just the right sense of unapproachability. "That was the hospital –"

"Which one? There are three here in Central, Havoc."

Jean laughed lightly, leave it to Riza to notice that detail right away. "Central-Civilian, but they have a no name. Someone needs to go down and check it out." Havoc finished, popping a cigarette into his mouth and pulling out a lighter so he could smoke, despite the obvious glare he got from Hawkeye.

"Better go tell the Brigadier General then. As much as I would love for him to finish that paperwork I brought to him earlier, I think he's going to go off the deep end without some fresh air. Shouldn't take long anyway." Hawkeye said, turning back to her paperwork. Jean sighed heavily, slowly picking himself up out of the chair, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. "And put out that cigarette, you need to quit anyway." Jean now turned to face Riza.

"You think I'm gonna quit? You're crazy, woman." Jean laughed heartily. He had been smoking for so long now, it seemed that as soon as he could pick up a lighter was the day he started smoking. It was just a part of who he was. The recently promoted First Lieutenant then started walking to his commanding officers office. As he walked by, Riza's hand twitched slightly. She wanted to grab her gun, point it at him and force his to put out the cancer stick he was inhaling. However, she resisted this urge and allowed his to walk by unharmed and still smoking.

Jean walked past her desk, but unbeknownst to her, he noticed all too easily the twich in her gun hand. He was grateful for her considerable amount of self-control. As he reached the door to the Brigadier General's personal office he knocked before letting himself in. "Hey, Mustang, we got a no name down at Central-Civilian. Your turn to go check it out." Brigadier General Roy Mustang looked up from the paper he had just finished signing, his onyx eyes piercing through anything they looked at. As per usual, his hair was black as the night sky and groomed immaculately.

"Thank you, Havoc. I'll leave immediately." Mustang then stood up, taking his coat off a nearby coat rack that was identical to one he had next to his office door. Jean then took his leave, still breathing in the harmful tobacco smoke, much to Hawkeye's dismay. This was the first no name in a while. It would be a very unconvincing lie if Mustang didn't at least admit he was curious. Although, he was also relieved to get away from that never ending stack of paperwork for a while. Roy then briskly walked out of his office and out of Central Command. He figured he could walk as Central-Civilian happened to only be a few blocks away.

During his walk, as with many before it, Roy began to contemplate how quiet his office had become over the last year. For so long Central had been a very loud place. It had been so full of life, but now it seemed like a ghost town. Yes, there were many people who worked there, but now it just felt empty. As if something was missing. Only a year ago, Central had been like a second home to two very young but talented and passionate alchemists. One had been very loud and often ill tempered, and the other was gentle and kind beyond words. They had been brother, but were so much closer than any family he had known of. They had been the Elric brothers, Edward and Alphonse Elric.

Edward had become a State Alchemist at the tender age of twelve. To date, he was still the youngest to have passed the exam for admittance into the military as a State Alchemist. Alphonse wasn't a State Alchemist, but still had immense talent. At the time, Alphonse was just a soul bonded to a suit of armor, and Edward had been missing his left leg and his right arm. This had been the result of the boys committing the one sin of alchemy: Human Transmutation. Roy couldn't blame them though. They had been so young and thought their mother, Trisha Elric, could be brought back from the dead. Edward had felt so immensely guilty that it drove him to become a State Alchemist in hopes of giving Alphonse his body back. Edward had loved Alphonse more than life itself, but considering he had no reason to love life all that much this was hardly surprising.

The brothers eventually did succeed. Alphonse now had his body back and lived with longtime friends Pinako and Winry Rockbell. And Roy had even received an invitation to Alphonse and Winry's wedding this weekend. Edward had not been so lucky. The price for Alphonse's body had been Edward's life and body. He was now believed to be dead, but Roy knew he had been sent to the other side of the gate. It was a place that lacked alchemy and was recovering from war. Roy understood why Edward had done it, but he couldn't help but wish Edward was still here. The young alchemist was dearly missed by everyone, including Mustang.

As the Brigadier General finally approached the hospital, the automatic doors opened, and shortly after walking through he was bombarded by nurses who were gazing at him like love stricken high school girls. It was amusing, but he was here for a reason. "Who called about the unknown person?" He simply asked the growing crowd of nurses. One stepped forward; she was as preoccupied with his looks as all the others were.

"Uh, right this way, sir." The nurse turned away, leading Roy to the 2nd floor Recovery Ward. She stopped at room 207 and motioned for him to go inside. "I'll be downstairs when you finish, at the nurses' station. Roy nodded, straightened his coat and opened the door. He was not expecting what he saw though for his eyes went wide and he was suddenly overcome by the need to sit down and gather his thoughts. He spotted a chair by the bedside, so he walked over and fell unceremoniously into the seat. Roy looked to his right at the boy lying in the hospital bed. His hair was golden blond, and has face, even in sleep, was sharp with determination. Yet, it seemed almost depressed at the same time. His face had matured some while he was gone. Then Roy turned away. Across the room was a table with a phone on the end. So, he walked over, his body having lost it military stance. His knees were weak with the impossible reality set in front of him.

Roy dialed the number for Hawkeye's desk at Central. The phone rang exactly twice before being answered abruptly by Hawkeye with her strictly business tone of voice. "Hello. This is the office of Brigadier General Mustang, what do you need?" Roy almost laughed at this. Hawkeye was always straight and to the point.

"At ease Colonel, it's only me." His voice must have been a dead giveaway to his emotions, for the next words out of Riza's mouth were asking him what was wrong. "Well, I know exactly who this person is. I don't know how no one recognized him."

There was a moment where the line was silent, Hawkeye was obviously contemplating the possibilities. "Who is it, Sir?"

"It's Edward Elric."

There was a long pause, and Roy was certain there was an astonished look on her face since he could hear Fuery asking her what was going on. "Are you sure? Because if we tell Alphonse and it turns out not to be him, I really don't think he could take that."

"Riza, I've never been surer of anything except for my decision to become Fuhrer. However, I'll wait until he wakes up to be certain."

"Very well sir. Do you want me to file away the paperwork for today in the event you aren't back by the end of the day?" Roy never ceased to be amazed by how much his team looked out for him.

"Thank you, and yes. Don't file it unless I don't return within an hour of closing though." Roy didn't want to delay his work if he didn't need to. A development Hawkeye was grateful for.

"Alright, we'll hopefully see you soon." And the line went dead as Hawkeye hung up.

Roy went to the nurses' station to inform the nurse that the unknown was Edward Elric. He quickly returned to the room to wait for the Fullmetal Alchemist to wake up. He ended up waiting about an hour. Edward's eyes opened slowly, and he blinked a few times to shake some of the sleepiness from his mind. He began to look around, and when he turned to his left he saw Roy Mustang clad in the Amestris Military uniform. The look on Roy's face told Edward that this situation was just as strange to him as it was to Roy.

"Colonel Bastard?" Roy chuckled, now smirking at Edward.

"Actually, that would be Brigadier General Bastard now."

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><p>This chapter was edited, please let me know how it is now...<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

****_Okay! Here's chapter three. Finally, am I right? Sorry, I've just been swamped with schoolwork, and haven't had much time to spare for typing... Anyway, please enjoy, and PLEASE read the note at the end of this chapter?__  
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_**Review Replies:**  
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_**Vampy: **Thank you for the reminder! And I know, the first three chapters are kind of introductory... Boring to type too... _

_**e: **Do you not have an account? Anyway, thank you for the review! And YES, it is very hard to not just write the good parts and skip the plot. :(_

**_LurvirsLuvvie: _**_You are welcome! And here's another chapter! Yeah, Edward's ID was rushed, I just wanted to get that part over with, but I did try to make it not terrible. _

_**aRocketgirl: **I'm setting about a year after the manga/anime, and I know they did not exist, but I'm kind of assuming that Alchemist researchers have made major technological advances for the military and major hospitals since Edward left. There is actually going to be a part covering that. I do appreciate the input though! And thank you for that bit of information :D  
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_**UP2L8: **Your questions shall be answered if you read! And thank you for the consistant reviewing. _

**_Shadows Curse: _**_Yes, I always get upset since I never think my writing is up to par. I am always impressed by what others write though... I hope you enjoy this chapter too! ~Ja ne :3_

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

Edward smiled. How easily that fell into conversation, even after the time they'd been apart. The sunlight seeping into the room from the window behind Edward made his hair glow like nothing Roy had ever seen before. The fact that the sun was setting reflected in his golden strands as well. Maybe he missed Edward more than he had noticed. "Brigadier General, huh?" Edward stated, impressed by Roy's quick climb up the political ladder. "Seems like a mouthful if you ask me."

Roy laughed now. Of course Edward would think of things like that. "Well that's my rank now, so get used to it."

Edward smirked, not being able to help but be happy that some things never changed. "And if I don't want to?"

"Then that's too bad, Fullmetal. But anyway, what happened? How are you back here?" And in that moment Edward's eyes lost their playful sparkle. He appeared thoughtful for a moment before he decided to say anything.

"I'm not sure. I was talking to a dear friend of mine, and then everything went black and I was here." Edward had always been bad at lying, but his skills had improved in Berlin. The truth was that he remembered everything. He remembered Alfons calling his name in a panicked voice, he remembered turning to see what the matter was because there had been no cars coming, and he remembered feeling a pain akin to being gutted. The last thing he had seen was Alfons horrified expression and a red film of liquid coloring his vision. He remembered everything, and it was killing him on the inside.

Roy studied his face for any signs that this wasn't the absolute truth. He found none, but didn't trust this conclusion. Edward had changed, and his face seemed more solemn then it should for someone who didn't know anything. In the end, Roy chose not to push the matter. Edward was finally back in Amestris, and that was what was important. He didn't need to go off and anger him so soon. No matter how much his temper entertained Roy.

"I'm sorry." Edward's voice was like a murmur on the wind, but Roy heard it clear as day.

Roy was confused as to why Edward would apologize. "What are you sorry for?" Pools of amber looked directly at him, starring as if trying to find the right words on his face.

Edward took in a small bit of air. "For being so reckless. I was willing to do anything just to save Al. Even kill myself for his body back. In fact, that had been my intention the last time you saw me. The Gate is a fickle thing though. It wasn't my time to die, so I suppose there is still more for me to do." Edward paused here, allowing Roy to absorb this information. "I spent all that time on Earth wondering if Al had really gotten his body back. Did he?"

Roy sighed deeply, and then considered how inappropriate it had been for the situation as he watched Edward's face contort into a look of concern. "He is fine. He did get his body back as you had planned. What you did was reckless and idiotic, but it was also honorable. Not many people are willing to die for their loved ones. Most would prefer to watch them die then to die themselves in place of another. "

Edward's face now embodied admiration and amazement. The Flame Alchemist gave the impression of having changed as well. "Thank you. You always were there for me when I seemed to need it most, even if I didn't want your help. I was just too stubborn to realize it." Roy smirked, his cool gaze acting as a reminder that he was contemplating his next words carefully. Edward knew the look very well. He had been on the receiving end of it more times than he cared to count. His commanding officer had always been a more complicated person than people knew, and most people who knew him were on his personal team. The Fullmetal Alchemist had missed not only his brother but his friends and colleagues as well. Hawkeye, with her loyalty and cool demeanor. Breda and his eagerness to help those close to him. Feury with his quiet brilliance, and Havoc and his troublesome smoking but all the while energetic personality. Oh, and there was Falman, who was mostly silent and distrusting, but worked almost invisibly in the background to aid those who had earned his loyalties.

Then there was Roy. He was on a different spectrum altogether than everyone else. The man had succeeded countless times to piss him off. The older alchemist had hit all the wrong buttons with Edward, annoyed him with no end in sight, and demanded reports along with a pointless debriefing on every single mission. But then there was the side of Roy that made you so sure you were in good hands. Roy would only allow you on his team if you earned his utmost trust and respect, and he made sure you knew that. And Edward had even known the side of Roy that had been protective of him and Al when they had been searching for the Philosopher's Stone. Edward wasn't so naïve to be ignorant to the fact that Roy had gone very far out of his way to give him all the opportunities and support he needed to accomplish his end goal.

It had never mattered to Edward that he had never recovered his limbs. All Ed had ever been fighting for, despite his brothers protests was Al's body. Edward understood that he had to pay for what he had done, but it had never been Al's fault. His younger brother had always been the more rational of the two boys, and had been hesitant to try human transmutation. Edward coerced the younger into it, and had ended up never feeling more guilt ridden about anything.

"About time you noticed." Roy finally said, grateful that Edward had not noticed the unusual silence.

Edward's face donned a look akin to remorse. "Yeah, it is. And I apologize for that." Roy guessed that he must have looked astonished or something as Edward's eyebrows scrunched up as if trying to discern what his eyes wouldn't reveal. The Brigadier General wasn't accustomed to the fiery tempered youth owning up to regrets he had to anyone but Alphonse.

"You really have grown, haven't you?" Roy revealed his suspicions in an almost admiring way. In fact, he did look up to Edward in that regard. As far as he knew, Edward had been a normal child before the transmutation that landed him where he was now. The young boy had been so willing to take full responsibility for everything. From that moment on Edward had placed everyone's needs before his. The Fullmetal Alchemist was completely selfless, and this trait was probably the reason why he was the Hero of the People.

Edward did not look happy that he had once again changed. He could only hope it was for the better. But he figured that if it wasn't, he was probably still paying for all that he owed. "I suppose. How is Al?" Edward asked, trying to redirect the conversation. Roy smiled, successfully deterred, and remembered the wedding invitation he had received.

"Alphonse is doing very well actually." Edward grinned; very obviously he still avoided thinking of himself all that much.

"That's good. It's what we worked so hard for." Roy grimaced at this. He knew Al felt awful for the fact that Edward still had his automail limbs. His goal had been to help restore them now wasn't the time to debate with Edward.

"Yes. He and Ms. Rockbell are actually getting married this weekend. Would you like to go with me? I'm sure it would definitely be a top notch wedding gift for Alphonse to have you there." Edward smiled, a hint of sadness toning his features.

"Good. He deserves to be happy. I'd love to go and see my brother, and watch him get married." Roy noted that Edward didn't actually seem happy. He didn't have time to mull over that though as Edward's doctor walked in.

"Hello, Mr. Elric. I am Dr. Park. Other than some blood loss and a few scratches you seem perfectly healthy. As long as you eat plenty of food and drink a lot of fluids you'll be fine and can leave whenever you feel ready." Edward listened intently and nodded when Dr. Park was done speaking.

"How am I going to pay you? I don't have any money." Dr. Park was about to reply when Roy intervened.

"I'll pay his medical bills. Just bill my military account directly." The doctor nodded, smiled politely and took his leave. Roy then turned to Edward. "You need a place to stay." It was a statement that Edward agreed with completely. Of course he needed somewhere to stay; he had just been dumped back in Amestris mere hours before. "You can stay with me for a while, until you get yourself settled and decide what to do." Edward looked at his former superior curiously.

"Awfully accommodating, aren't you?" Though Edward couldn't help but be grateful for the change in the Flame Alchemist.

"Only for you, Fullmetal. I've known you far too long to sit on the side and watch while you go about this alone. This is the least I can do." Edward's heart beat faster, filled with the happiness that came with having someone there for him. The strange thing was that Roy had never, to Edward's knowledge, been so kind to someone. The Flame had always been sort of a lone wolf. The younger alchemist couldn't help but wonder what had changed him, but didn't want to ask.

Roy Mustang had been the one to come for the Elric boys when they sent letters to anyone who had known their father, Hohenheim. Edward and Alphonse had hoped to find their father before their mother had died. They wanted to see her happy again. At first, Edward had been mad at Mustang for not coming sooner. Over time though, Edward had come to understand that he couldn't stay mad forever. The truth really sunk in during his time in Berlin. When all was said and done, Edward felt guilty for all the crap he had given his commanding officer and was determined to find some way to make it up to him, be it supporting his goal to become fuhrer or simply helping him out once in a while.

Edward rested for about another hour before telling Mustang he was ready to leave. Edward changed out of his hospital gown and back into his own clothes. His clothes consisted of a nearly worn out brown coat, and a white button up shirt and some slightly newer looking brown pants. These had been what he wore in Germany. "Let's go get you some clothes. You'll need something else to wear until you come by some money." Roy had a point, since Edward couldn't go around wearing the same thing every day for who knows how long. So, he nodded following Roy as he led the way out of Central-Civilian.

Once downstairs, Edward approached the nurse's station as Roy had told him to. "My name's Edward Elric and I think I'll be leaving now." The nurse pulled out a discharge form, informing him that once he left that he was no longer under Dr. Park's care, then instructed him to sign if he understood.

She handed the form to another nurse who was working a computer. "Alright then, you're all set Mr. Elric. Have a nice evening." Edward thanked her, and he and Roy walked out into the sunlight. Granted, the sun was in the process of setting, but there was still light. And somehow Amestris seemed to be fuller of life than Earth had been. In Germany, at least, everything had seemed nearly colorless and lifeless. The brightness had caused him to squint, which Roy took notice of and allowed the young alchemist time to adjust. He just figured that Ed had gotten used to the lights in the hospital. Soon enough the two began to walk in the direction of Roy's house, which was approximately thirty minutes away on foot.

Edward couldn't help but to notice that when Roy walked his steps were a proud, confident stride. Sure, Mustang had an image to uphold, but somehow his confidence appeared to be just part of who he was. On the way to Mustang's place, Roy paused and Edward did the same. He motioned to the shop called Marsha's Threads. "Go ahead and pick out some clothes. Make sure you get enough to last at least a week though. I'll pay once you're done." Roy knew that if he hadn't instructed the elder Elric to buy enough that he would only get maybe two or three days' worth of clothes.

They walked in together and parted close to the door. "Yeah, alright Mustang. I'll be back." Roy walked to a bulletin board near the register to look at the miscellaneous posting people had made. Edward walked around the racks for a while, picking up articles of clothing here and there. All the while, Edward was actually being very self-conscious of the pricing of the clothes he picked out. A few years back, he would have jumped for joy at the opportunity to spend Mustang's money, but now he realized he had no right to make him pay more than necessary.

Eventually, he ended up with seven sets of clothes and two coats. The shirts were all black or white button ups. The pants were all black or brown. One of the coats he picked out was black and the other was red. Roy kept his amusement to himself when he saw the red coat, but he was sure Edward caught the glimmer in his eyes since he cocked an eyebrow at him. When the cashier rung up everything, Roy was shocked to find the total to be far less than he had anticipated, even after considering Edward's consciousness about the price; which Edward had no idea Roy know about. However, Roy still pulled out his wallet and paid for the clothes that the cashier had already finished bagging.

As it turned out, Roy's house was only another 10 minutes away from the store. The sun was meeting the horizon as they approached, the orange and pink sky creating a radiant scene with the white exterior of the house. It was a two story white house with black outlining the windows and front door. There was a driveway, and in it was a black military issue car. In the front yard, which was a very decent size, there was a healthy willow tree. What was laid out in front of him resembled a priceless painting that he was privileged to see. The Flame Alchemist smiled at Edward's amazement and speechlessness.

"Like what you see?" Roy asked, not realizing how someone could take what he had said the wrong way.

Edward looked up at him and smirked. Proud onyx met playful amber. "Maybe I do…" Edward teased, purposely letting his voice slowly trail off. Roy was caught off guard as his eyes went just slightly wider than normal. He had only intended to impress Fullmetal with his admittedly remarkable house, which contrary to the amount of visitors he got, he liked to show off. He recovered quickly though, surmising that had had just let his guard down.

"Well, after you then." Roy said after unlocking and opening the door, motioning for Edward to go ahead and enter his house first. The pools of amber looking at him narrowed into a look that couldn't quite be called a glare. Edward eyed him for a few more seconds like this before decided to say something.

"Though women went first? You better not be calling me a woman Mustang!" Roy stood there for a moment before he began laughing harder than either could ever remember. Edward felt a pang of embarrassment, and his complexion was now reflecting that, but he was glad he had made his former superior laugh like that. Roy was a very guarded person, and to be trusted to the point that he felt he could laugh like this was astonishing; a privilege if anything. Mentally he prepared himself to stay here with Roy until he arranged to stay somewhere else.

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><p><em>I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. <em>

_Before I allow you all to click away from this page, I was wondering if anyone would be interested in being my beta for this story? I've tried to find one, but to no avail. D:  
><em>

_I would prefer someone who would get my story back to me within 24 hours if possible, as well as someone I can discuss plot with. Also, I don't mind if you make immediate changed to the chapter like punctuation or sentence structure, but anything else I would like to be able to think about myself, so maybe just put it under the chapter in italics or something? Anyway, please PM me if you are interested in this! You don't need to fit my description to be considered.  
><em>

_Also, if you want more of a visual on what Roy's house would look like, please look at my profile! I have a URL to a picture set up there. Oh, and if anyone is interested at all, I have a facebook fanpage set up, in case anyone wants to pester me about this or any other story.  
><em>

_And finally, if anyone is interested, I would like to hold a vote:  
><em>

_**Who thinks Edward should return to the military and therefore stay with Roy or at least in Central? Who thinks he should pursue another career and if so what career? This will affect the route the story takes even though I have chapter 4 partially written out.**  
><em>

_**I'll make the final decision on the voting, but one random reviewer who votes will get to request a one-shot: Plot and all! I'll PM the winner of the one-shot.  
><strong>_

_****AGH, lot's of info in this AN... Please let me know what you think should happen! Anyway, until next time._

_-Kasaki Kihoya  
><em>


	4. Chapter 4

_So, I'm very surprised that people actually read my little notes! It makes me happy though. Go figure though, I have a fever of 100.3 degrees and here I am writing chapter four of 'What's Missing'…. When I should be sleeping… _

_Oh, and I might stop writing out the entire chapter before typing it. Instead, I'm just going to do outlines, then type and see what comes out. Oh, and to some comments I've received that Roy wouldn't know about the Gate, I'm glad you noticed that. All will be explained in due time. :D_

_Oh, and this is partially based on the 2003 anime where Ed sacrificed himself for Al's body and soul back. Slightly AU story though, so bear that in mind while reading this and future chapters._

**Review Replies:**

**Shadows Curse:**_ Thank you for the vote! And this chapter you'll get to see what he decides._

**Bunnynohoogle: **_Believe me, the chapter where Ed finally lets his feelings out will be intense!_

**what-is-the-color-of-love: **_Oh my gosh! I love how you used the word beast! That's epic :D_

**UP2L8: **_ You think things through very well! Let us see what happens, shall we?_

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

That evening Edward and Roy had a fairly quiet dinner. Neither wanted to break the delicate bond they had regained. And delicate it was because Roy had become a different person in a year, as had Edward. When their silent meal was over Roy did dishes even though Edward had offered. "So, where do you suppose I should sleep then?" Roy had expected the question to pop up sooner or later, and as such already had an answer ready.

"On the couch, most likely. I don't have a guest bedroom." Edward nodded, walking over to said couch, which had a fairly expensive coffee table in front of it. In fact, everything in Mustang's house looked like it had cost a fair bit of money. Edward kicked off his boots and placed them under the table. "You can take a shower if you'd like. The bathroom is upstairs, last door on the right."

Edward looked to where Roy was pointing. "Thanks. Where do you keep towels?" He asked without ever looking away from the upstairs hallway.

Roy looked thoughtful for a moment, as if he had forgotten where he kept his own things. "They should be in the bathroom under the sink. If there's none there, just go to the laundry room. It's down here, just next to the kitchen."

"Alright." Edward said. "I guess… I'll… Um, see you in the morning?" Roy was inwardly laughing at how awkward Edward seemed to feel in his home, which was very contrary to the way he acted during the walk here.

"Actually, I'd like to talk to you before you go to bed. So, I'll make us both some coffee and wait for you to finish." Edward's face flickered with confusion, but he said that was fine. He wasn't in any hurry to sleep anyway.

In the end, the towels had been under the sink. So Edward ran the shower, waiting for the water to get hot. He stripped out of his worn looking clothes and stepped in. The hot water felt nice against his skin. The water was soothing muscles that had been aching for far too long for his liking. His hair, which he had let loose whilst undressing was getting wet as well, and the water felt wondrous on his scalp.

During his shower, mostly while washing his hair, Edward thought about how he ended up back in Amestris. He had lied to Roy about it, which, when considering the trust his former superior had in him, was unacceptable. He knew that to set his conscious straight again, he would need to tell him the truth. He wasn't ready to face that yet though. The last of the soapy suds were swirling down the drain, so he reached over to turn off the shower. The room was full of steam, and he reveled in the scent of the cleanliness that hung in the air as he stepped out from under the shower head to dry himself.

Downstairs, Roy heard the water stop just as he was finishing with the coffee. He put the cup reserved for Edward on the table that was in front of the couch and held his own as he took a seat. Edward was back in Amestris, but what did that really mean? There was no way that he would return to the military. Roy still couldn't figure out what had possessed him to invite Edward into his home. Alphonse and Winry would no doubt welcome him with open arms regardless of their plans. So why?

"Hey." Roy was shaken out of his thoughts by the all too familiar voice, and he turned towards the stairs to face those sharp golden eyes. "You wanted to talk about something?"

Roy smiled that same smile that he used on his own superiors to get them to agree with him. "Yes, why don't you take a seat, Fullmetal?" Edward sighed, and walked over to the couch, taking a seat on the opposite side and using the arm as something to lean on so he could still relax while facing Mustang.

"I'm not a dog of the military anymore, Bastard." He stated before sipping at the cup Roy had not realized he picked up. "Just call me Ed, or Edward if you insist on formalities." Roy lowered his head and chuckled. Yes, this was Edward Elric, and he had indeed grown quite a bit in his time away. Lifting his head, his attitude quickly changed to pure seriousness.

Ed took notice of this, took another sip out of the cup and placed it back on the table. "Edward, I have to report that you were discovered at the hospital. Normally, there would be no issue about this, but you were reported missing and as such you will need to fabricate a believable story for the higher ups. Otherwise you will be found guilty for abandoning your duty and betraying the people of Amestris."

Ed tilted his head up to face the ceiling. "Just great… So, I suppose you're going to help me come up with some brilliant chronicle to explain away the fact that I was gone up until now?"

"I don't know, with your height maybe no one will even notice that you're back." As soon as the words had passed through his lips, his shirt was being pulled forward by a fist. His forehead lightly hit Edward's and amber glared into obsidian. Roy was shocked by the speed Edward had gained. With reflexes like his, anyone could easily be injured if they were unprepared.

Roy could feel Ed's breath wash over his face; anger caused his cheeks to flush slightly. "You wouldn't be saying that I'm so small only an ant with a magnifying glass would see me now would you, Mustang?" Apparently short jokes were still a sore spot. And Roy let out a breath of relief and began laughing.

"Of course not, Edward." Ed let him go, but his shirt already bore the wrinkles to show that Ed had been there.

"I have a lot of enemies. We could use that to our advantage. Say on my last mission I ran into someone and they were strong enough to prove a threat to me and my family, including the Rockbell's. So, I ran and went into hiding beyond the borders of Amestris until I believed that it was safe to return." The sensibility and logic in the story astounded Roy. Fullmetal had been known for his rashness and inability to think through the situations that lie in front of him. If they perfected the details no one would question the necessity of fleeing the country and even the military would welcome him back onto Amestrian soil.

Roy finished off his cup, and placed it on the table. "We could say it was one of Kimblee's followers. Some of them are still loose."

Ed nodded. "He attempted to kill me, and threatened to go after Al and anyone else who was associated with the name Elric. He manages to injure me enough that I'm unable to continue the fight, so I run. And he leaves, believing that I am too hurt to survive for long, wanting my death to be as slow as possible…"

"That will be enough. And with your brother and Winry both living in Risembool you have no reason to be in hiding anymore." Their story was now good enough that it would not raise any suspicions. "But what will you do then? You'll have your entire life in front of you."

Edward scowled; he knew this would come up sooner or later. He didn't want to go back to the military, not after all the horrors he had seen in Germany. The needless deaths. All for some mad man's ideals. "I can't go back."

All Roy could do was accept that. He knew asking would get him nowhere. "Then you have some options. You can cut ties with the military altogether and find work elsewhere. But with your qualifications and obvious alchemic prowess I can probably pull some strings I might be able to arrange a research position for you. With your talents, even the Fuhrer would be hesitant to let you go so easily."

Edward's right eyebrow rose. "But wouldn't I still be a state alchemist?"

Roy acknowledged this, but quickly spoke. "Yes, the only difference being that you would not be expected to go into the field unless we declare war."

The blond couldn't help but ponder the proposition. Being in the military, but no missions? Then it hit him. He still hadn't tested something. He quickly looked around for something to transmute. He spotted Mustang's empty cup, and pictured an array that would turn it into a toy horse, like the ones he made for his mother. He clapped his hands, and stared in awe as clean blue light filled the room. When it vanished a horse was standing where the cup had been just seconds before. "I can do it again…" A grin broke across his face.

"Why did you transmute my cup? What did it ever do to you?" Roy exclaimed, clearly not understanding why Ed did it.

Edward looked over, and began laughing at the look of disbelief on the General's face. When the laughter subsided and he recalled Roy's question his features turned into a look of bittersweet sadness. "Where I was, there was no alchemy. There were other forms of science, like rocketry and physics. It hadn't even crossed my mind to try until now."

Roy studied his face, finding a world without alchemy unbelievable. "It… Must have been hard." He tried to choose his words with care, but really didn't know how to approach a topic like that. Ed looked straight into his eyes.

"No, I eventually got used to it. But I did miss it and it's nice that I can do it again." Ed's mouth opened wide, and a yawn escaped. His arms, automail and flesh rose up in a full body stretch. "I'll think about your offer, but I think I need to get some sleep if I have to go with you in the morning and plead my case to your superiors."

"Actually you'll report straight to me, seeing as I was your former Commanding Officer. And based on what you tell me I'll need to schedule a meeting with the other generals to discuss your situation." Ed rolled his eyes, and Roy smirked. He thoroughly enjoyed annoying the younger man, and it was too easy sometimes. "But you're right, you need to sleep. If you need a blanket, there is a closet next to the laundry room where I keep spare bedding. Sleep well and welcome home Edward."

As Roy walked off toward his bedroom, Ed stretched out along the couch and let his head fall against the arm. Sleep took him almost immediately.

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><p><em>Soooo sorry this took AGES! Please forgive me? I got really busy with life and whatnot, and now I am in school again, and it is my senior year. So updates may not be frequent, but I'll try to get one chapter out a month.<em>

_I went back and changed chapter two, so please go back and read that again.  
><em>

_Also, if anyone would like to beta for this story, I would love that oh so much!  
><em>

_The next chapter will probably be centered around getting Ed situated and maybe even a peek at how Alfons is holding up? After that, I'm not sure.  
><em>

_-Kasaki Kihoya  
><em>


	5. Chapter 5

_Haha, the last chapter practically wrote itself once I sat down. Now for chapter 5!_

_Wow, after this chapter is posted, we'll be past 10k in the word count! Awesome! :D_

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

_The ground rumbled with enough force to throw someone off their feet. Violent red light filled the sky, and flooded into the room where Ed was studying. Golden eyes went wide with fear. "Not again…" He was on his feet, ready to start running for his life. He swung open his front door, and his worst fears were realized. Screams of agony and terror filled the air as homes burned and crumbled. The scent of burning flesh began to contaminate the air._

_ Ed bolted down the steps that went from his door to the street, and didn't even look back as he began running as fast as he could. Behind him another bomb went off. He pushed the aching muscles in his leg to move faster and the automail responded automatically. Another bomb hit, and more homes and lives were taken. "Edward!" His muscles froze, he knew that voice. Slowly, he turned. On the ground, trapped under a smaller chunk of wall that had collapsed was Alfons. His arm was outstretched towards him and the look on his face told Ed that he was afraid to die here like this._

_ By now, smoke was thick in the air, and so was the scent of everything it burned. He wanted to gag, to just reject this tainted air, but Alfons needed him. He owed this man his life. He ran to Alfons, dropping to his knees when he reached the wall that had entrapped the fellow scientist. "Don't worry; I'll get you out…" Alfons nodded, even as more and more bombs were hitting the ground all around them. Not even fifty feet away another building collapsed, and the screams of the people who had not escaped rang loud and clear. Ed grunted as he tried desperately to lift the brick off of Alfons's legs. He was surprised they had stayed together; it must have been one of the better homes._

_ Edward looked up from his efforts just in time to see a bomb about to be deployed, and if he was right, it would be too close for them to survive. He jumped up and went to grab Alfons by the hands. He pulled as hard as he could, but Alfons's body wouldn't budge. The bomb was dropping. He pulled again, his actions fuelled by desperation. The bomb hit the ground, exploding with such ferocity. Time slowed down, and just as the blast was about to reach them he heard his friend's voice. "Why couldn't you save me, Edward?" Those eyes and that face, so much like his brother's looked at him with terror and disappointment._

His eyes opened so suddenly, he had to blink a few times to remember where he was. Getting his heart and breathing to calm down was out of the question at the moment. Roy was on his knees between the couch and the table breathing a sigh of relief. He looked up at Ed, his eyes looked weary, and his hair was still ruffled from sleep. "Are you alright? I heard you screaming like someone was about to kill you."

Ed nodded, he knew full well that Mustang wouldn't believe him if he had been screaming. The look he was now getting was proof enough of that. "I'll be fine, but I really don't want to talk about it. Just go back to bed." Roy stared at him for a few seconds, but accepted that he wasn't going to get anything out of the blond alchemist tonight.

He stood up, but as he was about to turn to leave he couldn't help the words that left his mouth. "You don't need to be afraid, or tackle things on your own. I'm here for you." With that said, he walked back upstairs to his room. Edward was left stunned on the couch. Those had been the same words Alfons had said to him when they had first met in Munich.

_Edward was seething with rage. Who were they to deem him crazy? And since when was insanity a death sentence? "If no one will rise and claim this young man as kin, then he shall be sentenced to death at our earliest convenience." The Judges deep voice rung through the room and echoed off the walls. For a few seconds, there was silence, but then he saw a man in a black trench coat in the third row stand. He looked over and couldn't believe what he saw._

_ "Al?" The man smiled at him, but then looked sternly at the Judge. _

_ "I claim him as kin. He is… My brother. I thought I had lost him when he wandered off years ago." The Judge studied his face carefully. _

_ "You are Alfons Heiderich, the highly accredited rocket scientist, correct?" Alfons nodded, impressed that he was recognized so easily. Apparently some people actually read those scientific journals. "I will release him into your custody, but seeing as you aren't likely to have any proof of kinship he is to complete an apprenticeship under you in hopes that he can reintegrate into society. Should he fail, he will face his sentence anyway. Dismissed."_

_ The restraints around Ed's arms were undone, and he rushed over to follow Alfons out the door. Once they had put some distance between them and the court, Ed had to get answers. "Hey, why did you help me just now?" Alfons turned to face him, simply staring at him for a moment._

_ He looked away as he spoke. "You seem familiar to me, like I should know who you are. And… You didn't look crazy. You just seem lost."_

_ Edward threw his arms in the air, groaning in frustration. "Just great! First, I don't even know where I am, then I get stuck with some random guy who looks like Al. Yeah, this is really my day." He looked at Alfons again, glaring really, which threw the scientist off. _

_ "Why are you mad at me?" Alfons demanded. Why should this kid be mad at him?_

_ Edward continued glaring. "You might as well have sent me to hell yourself! I have to find a way to get back to Al, but I can't do that if I'm stuck here." He tore his gaze away from Alfons. "Al's got to be freaking out without me." Alfons didn't know what came over him, but he stepped forward and placed a hand on Ed's shoulder._

_ "You don't have to be afraid, Edward. And you don't have to do everything alone. I can help you, even if all I can do is be here for you." Edward didn't know how those words hit him so deeply, but maybe this Alfons guy wasn't so bad. He did save his life after all._

Why did Mustang have to go and say that of all things? He groaned, knowing there was no way he was going to fall back asleep now. So, he sat up, and looked around the room. He spotted a clock halfway across the room, and it told Ed that it was only four in the morning. Mustang would have to be up in an hour or two, so Ed decided to head for the kitchen. The least he could do was make breakfast. After some searching, he found some eggs and potatoes that he could use for hash browns. It would have to do, since there was no way in hell that he would use the milk and make omelets.

**X**

Alfons leaned down to place flowers on a stone slab. He bowed his head in respect, and looked up to read once again the name **Edward Heiderich** engraved in the tombstone. He couldn't help but laugh at the irony. Heiderich had not even been his last name, but he had needed to adopt it in order to believably play the role of his brother. What was ironic was that he had come to love Edward as his brother, but now he was gone.

He had never believed the stories Edward told, but he couldn't help but wonder if he had made it back home. Had he reached Amestris, or had he just died? Other people had come to pay their respects to the late Edward, like co-workers and some of the few friends they kept. Not many people, but enough to be companionable. Alfons had been here since the funeral, except when they had kicked him out to put the headstone in. Even having been here so long, he couldn't believe Edward was gone. Just like that.

He wiped tears away from his eyes. He couldn't cry, not when he was supposed to be strong. He could still remember Ed telling him, "What's important is that you remain strong when _you_ need it the most. It does no good to lose yourself in misery and defeat. Focus on what you _can_ accomplish." If he didn't stay strong, he would give in to the sadness that threatened to overwhelm him. But what he could do was say goodbye to Edward, and try as hard as he could to walk confidently towards the future.

Now if only he could get rid of this pesky cough.

**X**

Roy rubbed his eyes as he walked down the stairs, the smell of freshly made food drawing him towards the kitchen. He peered into the kitchen, and at the table was Edward. He had set up for two, and there was even food on the plate across from him. "Well, isn't this a surprise. I didn't know you could cook." Ed shrugged, as if he did this every day.

As Roy sat across from him, Edward looked up from his plate. "I thought about your offer."

Instead of beginning to eat, he propped his arms on the table with his elbows, lifted his arms and laced his two hands together. "And what have you decided?" Edward reached for a cup of water and took a large gulp.

The cup hit the table again with a moderately loud noise. "I'll need to retake the state alchemist exam. Then I'll have to wait for my funds to be reinstated. I'll need a place to stay until then."

Roy smirked wickedly. "Make yourself at home, Edward."

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><p><em>I planned to write more, but this seemed like a good place to end the chapter. Hope it was good! Two chapters in one night is amazing! <em>

_p.s. Still searching for a beta...  
><em>

_-Kasaki Kihoya  
><em>


	6. Chapter 6

_Alright, so I managed to find the time of day to write a new chapter for WM. At 4 in the morning..._

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><p><em>So... Let's get this ball rolling, shall we? Oh, and I've finally seen Conqueror of Shamballa! And the Sacred Star of Milos. I'm glad I finally got to see them xD<em>

**Chapter Six**

The remainder of their breakfast was spent in a companionable sort of silence. It was very comfortable, and to Edward, Roy seemed unusually happy. He wasn't sure why in the world the man would be grinning like a fool, but he figured it wasn't really his place to ask. Especially when he himself was keeping so many things hidden away.

That dream had shaken Ed quite a bit. The man had had Al's face for crying out loud! How could he not be rattled? And he had been trying all morning not to let Mustang see past his calm facade. The General was already sharing his roof with him, he did _not _need his troubles along with it.

"Hey, I'll take the dishes." Edward pointed out as soon as Mustang was nearly finished with his food. He quickly swallowed the last bits of his own plate and held out his hand, waiting for the plate. Instead, another hand met his and they were both lowered to the table. Edward, who hadn't been watching quickly spun his head around and eyed Roy. Narrowed and focused amber searched for answers. When none were found he snatched his hand away, grabbed the plates and bee lined towards the kitchen.

He heard the footsteps before he heard Roy's voice. "Edward-"

The plates slammed a tad bit harder than he had intended, but if any broke then he would buy new ones when he had the money. "If it's about that stupid dream, just leave it... It's nothing important." Roy paused, trying to plan his next approach. Edward's eyes clenched shut, and a grip he had not realized was firm on the counters edge tightened. He had known it all along; he should have gone to Risembool. Wedding be damned. Mustang, despite any good intentions had never been anything but bad news. Just like old times he supposed. He had always known how to make Ed tick.

Roy may not have been a highly trained member of investigations like Hughes had been, but he knew tension when he saw it, and it practically dripped off of Edward. He had seemed distant all morning, but he had been too pleased at realizing that Edward would indeed take him up on the offer to stay with him to notice. He knew it had something to do with the nightmare Ed had woken up from last night, but he didn't want to be bothered about it. The same old Edward, never letting anyone inside.

Still in his seat, Roy placed his elbows on the table and resting his head on his hands so that his fingers could massage his scalp. "It's your decision if you tell me anything. In fact, I would understand if you didn't. But realize that no matter how much you seem to want to push people away you're never alone. I'm not sure if you just forget that or if you really don't want people around." Edward's grip tightened once more before going lax. So many feelings rushed through him, fear topping all of it.

Roy lifted his head, but wasn't prepared for the look he was met with. Edward's eyes showed tentative hope fighting for dominance with terror and anger. His eyebrows were scrunched up, intensifying the already mesmerizing look. Edward was studying him, as if he weren't sure if he could trust him. Roy was caught utterly off guard. No one Edward's age should have a look like that on their face. He could only imagine that was the same look he had on his face during some of his early military endeavors. Just his eyes told you that this boy had lived through more than most people could endure while staying sane.

Finally those eyes averted their gaze, and a breath was released from his lungs. Edward now was looking at the floor, but quickly look back over at Roy and walked towards his seat at the table. He unceremoniously dropped into the seat. He looked about as sure as his indecisiveness would allow him to be. "Look..." Ed started to say. "I'm not promising anything. Hell, I don't even know why I'm about to do this. What I'm trying to say is that I guess I kind of owe you for everything you've done for both me and Al." He paused here, unsure of how to word the next part. Roy gave Ed a lightly disapproving look. He didn't want Ed to do anything because he felt indebted.

"Don't look at me like that, Mustang. What I want to say is that I guess after all these years and after everything, maybe I should start trusting you a little." That was not what Roy had been expecting. Edward did not typically attempt trusting people outside of his small family. "Just give me some time. I'll try to open up to you a little more." Even as Ed finished, he looked like a nervous wreak, and so unsure of what he was doing.

Roy let out a small whisper of a laugh in relief. "Thank you, Edward. I appreciate that more than you know. We all need someone to trust. We should get ready to leave though. The outer office is likely to be bugged, so be careful what you say out there. Fuery makes rounds through my office every morning though, so it should be safe in there." Edward nodded, not surprised someone would want to overhear what a Brigadier General would have to say. The higher ups in the military would do anything to eliminate threats to their positions.

"Yeah, I've got to get dressed anyway. Bathroom was upstairs, right?" Roy nodded and watched as Edward went to the couch, pulling some clothes out of the bag they had gotten yesterday and walked up to the bathroom. He really should think of some way to make Ed a little more comfortable for however long his stay was going to be. Roy leisurely made his way out of the kitchen and up to his room. While passing the bathroom he could have sworn he heard Edward cursing out his hair as he tried to tame it. Roy chuckled to himself, noting that he should get the kid a brush.

Roy was finished before Ed, and was sitting on the couch when he came down. The blond gave a nervous laugh. "Sorry, my hair was a bit uncooperative."

Roy turned and saw Ed wearing black pants and coat along with a white button up. It contrasted quite nicely with his hair in Roy's opinion. He smirked, knowing just how much of a battle Ed had fought with his hair. "I noticed. You must have fought valiantly considering how loud you were cursing in there." Edward glared, but it was obvious to both of them that it was only a meager attempt. "Come on, even with a miracle having happened Hawkeye will still put a bullet through my head if I'm not in my office on time."

As they left Edward was snickering madly behind Roy, much to his annoyance. "Surprised you haven't fled the country considering how often you nearly get shot." Roy's eye twitched with suppressed annoyance and temperament.

"I would say it's amazing you were never shot by her, but I doubt that she'd be able to see you to begin with." Next thing Roy knew he was knocked on his ass, pain shooting across the area and up his back. Edward was then knelt down in front of him, glaring furious daggers at him.

Edward's temper in regards to his height still ran strong. Along with his unique appearance it was one of his well known traits. As he glared at the Bastard he debated between warnings or simply doling out justice where justice was due. "Watch it, Bastard. Next time it might not be just your ass that hurts." Then, Edward was standing again, and even offering a hand to help Roy up. He accepted the gesture, deciding that having fun with Fullmetal was not going to be a good idea unless he was behind a desk.

Since they had walked to Roy's home the previous day, they had to walk back this morning. When they arrived Roy walked in first, everyone greeting him as usual. But when Ed walked into the room, everything went eerily silent. Riza was the first one to step forward. "Edward?" Her words were tentative, as if she feared that this was someone's idea of a cruel and sick joke. Edward just smiled, and found himself soon being saluted by a now smiling Hawkeye. "Welcome home, Edward."

"It's good to be back" After Riza welcomed Edward, practically with open arms, everyone else launched into greetings. Edward couldn't help but feel more at home here, a short lived comfort as Roy soon signaled Edward to follow him to his office. "What is it?" He asked as he shut the door behind him.

Roy sat down in his chair behind the desk, and it was deja vu for the both of them. Like they were back in the days where Ed always forgot to turn in his reports. "You said you wanted to become a State Alchemist again, correct?" Edward confirmed this with a quick nod. "Well, the earliest I can get you registered for is next Wednesday. With today being Friday, I suppose that's not too bad."

Ed reached into his coat pocket, and what he pulled out shocked even Roy. "I've had it this whole time. I kept it as a reminder of the things I had been fighting for and to remind myself that this world had been real." He opened the watch, a melancholic look overtaking his features. "I guess I can still use it, huh?"

Roy was confused to say the least. What could be in the watch to make Edward look like that? Ed caught the lost look on Mustang's face. "Later. For now, I have some studying to do."

Before Edward could turn and leave for his obvious destination of the library Roy spoke up. "Will you still work under me when you pass the exam?"

Edward looked straight at Roy, looking contemplative. "How could I ever support another crazy General's ridiculous ambitions?" And like the sun in the middle of an eclipse he was gone with hardly any trace.

* * *

><p><em>So...<em>

_I managed to actually crank out another chapter right before November. _

_This was literally typed in the dead of night, and my typing has been so sloppy. So if anyone finds any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them. _

_Otherwise, there we have it!_

_I love writing the dynamics of Ed and Roy's tentative friendship. It's fun, and so this chapter was mainly dedicating to building a delicate small amount of trust between the two. _

_Well, with November just around the corner, I'll see you guys in December. I love you all, and thank you for reading up to this point and all your wonderful reviews! They mean the world to me :D_

_But if you were interested, keep an eye out for The Epilogue, which is my piece for NaNoWriMo. I'll be working on it up through the end of November and then rushing to rejoin you here. Now, I must go sleep...  
><em>

_Till we meet again,_

_-Kasaki Kihoya_


	7. Chapter 7

_I_ _will_ _have_ _to_ _apologize_ _for_ _this_ _and_ _possibly_ _future_ _chapters_... _See,_ _my computer_ _died_ _and_ _I_ _don't_ _have_ _the_ _money_ _to_ _replace_ _it_. _And_ _for_ _anyone reading_ "_The_ _Epilogue_", I _won't even_ _be_ _able_ _to_ _update that_ _until_ _I_ _get_ _it_ _working again._ _The 3k_ _words I_ _have_ _written_ _for_ _the_ _next_ _chapter_ _are_ _on my_ _computer_! D:  
><em>I<em> _had_ _half_ _this_ _chapter_ _typed_ _up_, _but_ _I_ _had_ _to_ _start_ _over_, _and_ _let_ _me tell you, typing_ _stories_ _on_ _a_ _phone_ _is_ _hard_! _And_ _I'm_ _going_ _to_ _have to do_ _my_ _essays_ _for_ _college like_ _this_ _too_...  
><em>Enough<em> _about_ _me_ _though_, _I_ _spent_ _all_ _day_ _typing this,_ _so_ _I_ _hope_ _you enjoy_ _it_!

**What's Missing** **chapter Seven**

Without access to the military library, Edward was left using the few texts that the civilian library had. Granted, he had portions of certain books memorized, but that didn't compare to actually holding a book in his hands and studying from it. Sitting in the library brought back a lot of memories for him. Memories of a seven foot tall suit of armor and a younger, more idealist version of himself.

People stared st him as he walked into the library. Already, several people had recognized him. He wasn't blind to all the stares he was on the receiving end of. Nor was he deaf to all the hushed whispers, but he ignored it as best he could. Although it was beginning to eat at his nerves.

The musty scent of old books combined with that of the crisp new ones hit him hard. It was something that worked without fail to relax him each time he recognized it. His feet worked on autopilot, taking him to the sections of the respective alchemy books he was searching for. At first he didn't realize what he was doing, but when the realization finally dawned on him his head fell forward onto the shelf of the book he had just picked up.

How had this world become so embedded in him? Even though he had been gone for so long, he still remembered everything with crystal clarity. He was relieved by the fact that he remembered though. While on Earth, his biggest fear had been forgetting about Amestris, and about his family. Soon he would see Al and Winry again. At their wedding. He knew he couldn't move in with them, they would be starting a family and he would be taking a job here in Central.

So where would he live after the wedding? More importantly, where did he belong in the grand scheme of things? He lifted his head from the shelf and carried the small stack of books he had to the most secluded table he could find. The only thing that registered in his brain was excitement as he opened the first book. _The Basics_ _of_ _the Circle_ was an elementary level text, but Edward felt he should review it before he tried anything. All other thoughts left his mind as he became absorbed in the book. His favorite part had to be the introduction, which covered the reason why a circle was used as a transformational matrix.

"The circle, when drawn correctly, is the physical embodiment of the essential balance that just be achieved with the energies you are harnessing. It is currently the only known method for alchemical balance, and the fundamental basis for any and all transmutations. To correctly perform a transmutation one must channel the energies around them through their body and outwards via the transmutation circle. The circle is the most crucial component for the harmonized balance needed to carry out a transmutation."

This definitely brought back some memories. He thought of the times when he and Al had spared with Teacher while she read this to them. No matter how advanced his alchemy got he enjoyed going over the basics once in awhile. He spent about another hour on that book, then an hour on each of the other two.

_Advanced Alchemy_ _for_ _the Aspiring_ was slightly more challenging than the previous book, but the first two chapters were easily manageable. Then there was _Practical Applications_ _for Theoretical Alchemy,_ which was the most advanced book this library had, as well as the one that would help him the most should he land that research position. It focused entirely on the development of new theories and how to practically apply them to real world situations.

After three and a half hours at the library his stomach began to growl. Edward thought about going back to Mustang's place, but quickly remembered that he didn't have a key. So instead he trudged back to the office to ask Roy for food. He didn't appreciate having to ask the bastard to feed him, but for now he had no choice in the matter. All he could do was think to himself how it was such a shame that the civilian library was ask the way across town from headquarters.

It took nearly an hour for Ed to walk back to Mustang's office, and he felt half starved. Though he refused to let that bastard general know that. He knocked on the door to his private office, catching the surprised look on Hawkeye's face out of the corner of his eye. Really, did no one think he had matured in five years?

He turned the knob and entered the moderately well lit room when he heard Roy tell him to enter. He looked up from his paperwork, which Ed noticed had become fairly small, and he seemed mildly surprised to see Edward. "I thought you would be gone all day."

Ed have a short chuckle in response. That was what he had always done when presented with the opportunity, wasn't it? "Yeah," he started, "but I can't seem to concentrate when my stomach is berating me for not feeding it."

"Much more eloquent than your previous attempts at free food. I have to say i'm impressed." Roy rested his he'd in his hands, simply observing Edward as they conversed.

"A long as you're happy, but I think I must insist that we escape for lunch." Edward had to admit that having a civil conversation with Mustang was foreign to him, but it was proving to be quite pleasant. "I'm sure Hawkeye won't mind today," he added as an after thought.

Roy seemed to contemplate this for a moment, before he feigned defeat. "Well, if you insist on making sure I never finish my work, then I suppose I should just oblige."

Ed placed his hands on his hips, a triumphant grin plastered in his face. "Glad you see things my way. Let's get going then." Roy shook his head, standing up and putting his coat on.

They both agreed to eat somewhere other than the cafeteria. At best, the food was questionable, and Edward preferred to know what he was eating. They decided on a small cafe less than a block away. This one in particular was frequented in the early evenings, so the lunch crowd was nearly non existent.

Edward had only gotten a sandwich and some soup, not wanting to spend to much of Roy's money. Roy on the other hand got coffee, a sandwich and a dessert pastry. After ordering, they picked a table and sat in companionable silence until their food arrived. Then Roy engaged in conversation.

"Hey Edward, you mentioned you still had your pocket watch. Maybe now would be as good a time as any to discuss that?" Roy's words were careful and thought out. He knew instinctively that he was walking on eggshells, but something told him that things needed to be said.

Ed stiffened when he registered the words. He had honestly hoped that this wouldn't be brought up for awhile. Edward didn't know what he was willing to tell Mustang. "What about it?"

Ed's voice was edgy, balancing on some invisible plateau, and Roy could hear that struggle as clear as day. He would need to tread carefully to avoid ruining their delicate friendship. "Well, you mentioned you had kept it all this time. I was wondering why."

The blond busied himself by eating some of his food, but he couldn't do that forever. Yeah, he had been asked some personal questions, but this was a but deeper than the level he was used to. Somehow, that in itself made him nervous about this conversation. He would never lie to Mustang, that was out of the question, but what else was there? This was something Al didn't even know about him. He came to the conclusion that he would try and talk, but he wasn't sure where he would draw the line. Or if there was one.

After swallowing his soup, he hesitantly launched into a tale about Earth. He explained how the Gate if Truth had sent him there, and how he was supposed to be there for the rest of his life. He even told Roy about the reflections everyone had on Earth. He omitted quite a few details, giving Mustang only the ones he needed to know. Just thought so that he would understand.

Roy knew that this story, interesting as it was, was not the answer to his inquiry. However, he sat and listened, occasionally taking bites out of his food.

"So, you asked about the watch. I kept it because it was all I had. Considering the situation, it was the only thing I had to reassure me that I was alive. That I had existed. I guess you could say it kept me grounded. Reminded me that my entire life here wasn't just a dream." Gradually as Edward spoke, his voice began to quiver. At first it was hardly notable, but now his hands trembled. It was clear that he had never had such a personal conversation with anyone before.

Roy felt a pang of guilt for asking, but he couldn't help but feel proud of Edward for answering so fully. Edward was a grown man now, but so many things had been bottled up for so long that his mind wasn't done catching up.

And as Roy Mustang sat there, watching Edward regain his composure just across the table, he vowed to himself that he would do anything he could to help Edward. For whatever reason this boy still meant too much to him, and for now that was alright.


End file.
